Howdy! You might recognize me from my walks through the neighborhood with my human. We walk everyday with my little brother. My name is Einstein Xavier Maximus Morris, but my humans call me “Max”. I know… it is quite a name. The little girl humans at home got to name me and, since there are three of them, I got three names. I am five-years-old and a third generation Texan. They say I am a Black Labrador Retriever.
I was trained early on to be a hunting dog. Back then, I mostly liked to swim in the lakes and ponds and chase my littermates. I’ve never been interested in birds or retrieving. Maybe it is because I am bored easily; but my training has made me very obedient. My humans like obedience.
One day about six months ago, my family brought home a new puppy. It has been life changing and I still don’t understand why they did it. I overheard them talking and saying they thought it would be great and would “keep Max young.” Well, I completely disagree and am a bit offended. I feel young, I don’t need this puppy. He has been nothing but a nightmare from day one.
You see, this new puppy is called “Butter”. He came here with his name, the (now teenaged) girl humans didn’t get to name him. I think his name should be “Buffalo” or “Tyrant”. He is a Yellow Lab and, although they say we are related by breed, it cannot be true. You see, he is Canadian ... and that is all I have to say about that.
The tyrant has not been trained like I have. He misbehaves often and he has a nervous bladder. So every time the girl humans try to pet him, well… it is embarrassing and messy. My humans don’t like it and are constantly cleaning up after him.
Butter likes to run everywhere, even inside our home. He runs into walls and moves the furniture. He doesn’t sit pretty like I do. He leans against the walls and slides down them, finally laying down. Really--this behavior is unacceptable. My humans say he is a puppy and will calm down, but I just don’t know. If only I could get my paws on some puppy Prozac. In the meantime, I must endure and I pray he will get better.
On the bright side, he loves to chase a butterfly…maybe that is how he got his name? It is quite cute to watch and my humans laugh at him a lot. You know, I guess he isn’t that bad. Butter is a pretty good playmate. He also loves to retrieve which takes the pressure off me. You know, this might work out...as long as he stays out of my food bowl!
Well, I hope y’all will wave at us as we walk through the neighborhood. My human likes to wave at other humans and now you know who we are!